we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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