What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just sent this text using only my big toe
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
