Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
