I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
