I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
