It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
