I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
