I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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