im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
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