I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
