Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
