Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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