I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
