Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
