Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
