remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
