think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
