I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
