Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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