I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
