party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
