we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
