If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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