yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
