Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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