I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
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