Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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