dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
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The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
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I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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