All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
handjob tips. give me some.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I know her cup size but not her name....
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