ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
