In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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