I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
