Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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