it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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