I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
