Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
