So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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