anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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