I can text with my tongue
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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