We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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