if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
