Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
