HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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