Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
