I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Shame - the story of my life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
