yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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