GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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