What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
