i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
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