i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
