curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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