my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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