And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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