I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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