I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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