Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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