i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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