they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
