I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you win again, gameday.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
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