My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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