i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
