is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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