In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
