My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
