I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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