the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
BRING THE BAGELS
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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