are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
