why didn't you poke me back
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
